I have been questioning my destiny, my confidence in myself, my future, my hopes. People say everything happens for a reason. I have not been able to find an reason behind whatever has been happening with me for the past 7-8 months.
The stress was getting onto me.
We decided to take a break from trying for couple of months!
I am scared of another disappointment, am worried it will make me lose all my confidence.
I kept myself busy with my hobbies. I read two fiction books. In both the novels, the protagonist also struggles with being childless (going through miscarriages, fertility treatments). And of course when I picked these books I had no idea of this being in the story-line, this not being the core theme of the book. I don't know what co-incidence it is but it definitely made sure that I do not forget what I myself am hoping and dreaming of.
So I am reminded again that I need to forget the disappointments and look forward.
Zindagi ke safar mein guzar jatey hain jo maqaam woh phir nahin aatey!
But new "maqaam" can definitely be reached and I have to keep going.